January 25, 2022

From Gerald R. Lucas

Down Today covid-19: day 668 | US: GA | info | act

I’m having one of those days. I’m in a foul mood, feel overworked, but I can’t get motivated to actually do anything. It’s next to impossible to do things that are met with hostility, apathy, or indifference. Today, I want to leave higher education. That’s how bad it is. I feel like the enemy of everyone: society at large, the students, the administration, the government. No one seems to appreciate what I do, and I’m facing a self-evaluation over the next couple of weeks where I have to supply “evidence of effective teaching” in a year that has been inimical to anything effective. Seriously, I have had more students this year than I have ever had before and I’m expected to be effective, innovative, happy? I’m stressed out, depressed, and overworked.

I had a thought on my run today: if I didn’t have to worry about money, would I stay at in higher ed? I had to honesty answer a resounding no. So, what would I do if I didn’t have to earn money? I think I would write for Wikipedia.

It’s funny: while that might be the first place everyone with an internet connection goes for information, what aren’t there jobs to insure the quality of the content? I guess the same question can be asked about teaching: it’s arguably one of the most important professions int he world, but—at least here in the States—we look down on it, don’t reward it—in fact this goes back to my initial complaint: teachers are often looked at as the enemies. I guess that makes sense in a country where anti-intellectualism, ignorance, and boorishness are de rigueur.

Something’s truly wrong that it’s difficult to come up with anything positive about my career right now. Something has to change.