Maybe all that’s true? Why am I any more qualified to have opinions than any other citizen of Central Georgia? What makes me so special? Nothing. Maybe in a room full of Ph.D.s, I do have some respect and empathy, but should I expect the same in a classroom? On a street corner? Shouldn’t I pay as close attention to what the students think? After all, isn’t it really about them? They are the customers. They have paid to be in the class. Why should they have to listen to anything that they disagree with? What gives me the right to try to make them? I’m such a jerk.

It’s true, and it’s time that I admit it to myself and do something about it. It’s a big, stinky piece of humble pie that I finally have to choke down. Offense used to be, to me, a learning opportunity — something to really make me examine my attitudes and convictions. It’s the most difficult thing about education: that existential moment of understanding that comes from an idea that shakes you to the core. Frightening as hell. Now offense often seems to be grounds for complaint to the authorities, not for introspection.

Aren’t I just a functionary? I have facts to impart to the students, and isn’t that what knowledge is about? Facts don’t offend; they’re impartial, beyond contention. If people wanted opinions, they could turn on their favorite “news” channel or go to church. Is it the fact of my jerkiness that you hate? Or is it that my opinions don’t match your own?

In this current political climate, perhaps the best course of action is to remain silent or risk a fatwa, a witch hunt, a crusade, or a book burning. Yes, I have a right to say what I want — and I even have the qualifications. However, maybe right now and right here the prudent thing would be to keep my jerky mouth shut?

What would my classroom be like if I just stuck to the facts, Jack? Seriously. What are the facts in the study of literature? Context for sure. Plot. Oh, yes. I could point to all the zeugmas, synecdoches, and caesuras in a Neoclassical poem — all facts. What about textual interpretation? Ah, that’s tricky. Isn’t “interpretation” just another word for “opinion”? Better check those at the door. So literature turns into a quantifiable exercise of plot, context, and device?

What piece of literature does not in some way challenge conventional attitudes and beliefs? This is why I love what I do: it deals with all that human stuff that makes us who we are, for better or worse. It’s a mirror that shows all of our beauty and scars — us at our best and our worst. It challenges — kicks us in the throat and teases us with subtlety. It’s not the fact of plot, but the significance of it. Literature is the labyrinth, the puzzle of humanity. No other human endeavor is as important. (Shit, did I just write my opinion?)

I get so passionate in the classroom because I love what I do. I love what I read, and I want to hear what others think about it, too. Yet, my zeal is often mistaken for overbearing intimidation. My execrable opinion. Not for everyone, but a vocal few. I do care about you. I do.

And this is what makes me sad. I don’t know how to change. The only way I can be sure not to offend is to remain silent. Is that what this is about? Is that the prudent course? I do need to think about my job security, no? No employer wants to employ a jerk.

How do I challenge without offending? Is this even possible? For a better educator than myself, perhaps.

I don’t know how to temper the sharp edge of my personality other than to remain silent and smile. Who could object to that? How do I foster a classroom where people can disagree without becoming offended and turning off or going on the attack? Is that even possible these days? The classroom is where we should engage these ideas, not in an administrator’s office.

I’ll probably remain a jerk, but I just need to be a quieter one if I am to remain an educator. I guess that means this is my last blog entry, too.

I’m beaten down.

I think that you’d realize that most of your education customers would want to install Moodle (including yours truly), but you cannot without the graphic libraries. Wouldn’t it be easier to include them as part of your standard Apache/PHP install? I want to use a theme for my WordPress install that uses Timthumb, but that requires the GD libraries.I guess I could turn off Apple’s install of Apache/PHP, etc., but sheesh. One of the reasons to use Mac OS X Server is for ease of administration. Yeah.

I’ve even started looking into installing Debian on my Xserve instead. It would be much simpler. What do you think, Apple?

When are these big companies going to learn: the more they try to break my digital devices, the faster they will lose? The more they try to control their digital content with DRM, the more they damage themselves? They might be able to keep their content safe from those of us who wouldn’t steal it to begin with, but not from the real criminals. So what do they do? Yep, treat us all like criminals.

My iPod is broken. My Apple TV is broken. My DVD player is broken. My Wii is broken. My TiVo is broken — even after Cox spent an hour at my house yesterday installing the CableCARD. I knew before he left that I would have trouble with these stupid cards. And not 24 hours later, I no longer get a digital TV signal to my TiVo. Why do I even need a CableCARD? Right: I’m a criminal.

I know it’s probably not really the companies; Apple, Nintendo, and Cox have to appease the conglomerates that own the content. Thus, we have broken stuff. I can’t copy music from my own iPod. Why? I can only use my iPod Shuffle with one computer. Why? Don’t even get me started about the ridiculous constraints on the iPone. The list gets longer and broader everyday. Why? It’s obvious: we’re all criminals.

So, I spoke too soon when I said we were TiVo people again. I’m thinking this is the way that Cox will operate with these cards: make the CableCARD so inconvenient that we just say forget it, and get the substandard Cox DVR back in our living room. Yeah, sometimes channels would just drop out; yeah, it’s too stupid to know that it just recorded the same episode of the same show an hour earlier; yeah, it occasionally gave a cryptic “recording error” in place of what was supposed to be the latest episode of The Office. But at least we didn’t have to deal with CableCARDs and the ridiculous electronic gatekeepers of the Cox customer service line when they malfunctioned.

Like many Republicans consider the government, so these corporations consider us customers: a nuisance. They treat us with disdain, ironically not seeming to realize they need us (maybe that’s debatable). Granted, I wasn’t really nice to the girl “helping” me tonight (I’m sorry for being jerky), but I was annoyed at the many measures they undertake not to talk to me: “listen closely to the choices, since our menus have changed”; “enter the last four digits of the primary account holder’s social security number”; next menu: “press 1 for…”; next the AI who “wants to ask me a few questions”; after battling with it for several minutes (when has a telephone AI ever been helpful?) — a person. Then, the next series of questions, beginning with the last four digits of my social security number, even though I entered it above. By the time you get to talk to someone, you’re already frustrated. And they are never able to help. Ever. “We’ll have to schedule a technician to come out. How’s three weeks from now?”

OK, I’m ranting. I’m also TiVo-less and HD TV-less. Worse things have happened. Maybe I’ll read that Norman Mailer novel I’ve been meaning to get to. At least I don’t need a CableCARD to read a novel.

Yet.

I’ve been looking for days, and I have yet to find a viable solution to move my Drupal site(s) to WordPress. Why? The links on WordPress’ web site are very old; Google search comes up with several promising hits, but nothing that pans out. They’re either old, or too complicated.

I’m moving to WordPress for ease and speed. I like Drupal quite a bit, but it is a real chore to update. Module porting to newer versions is slow with Drupal, or sometimes just doesn’t happen. Most Drupal themes are awful. WordPress just seems much more friendly for my needs. It’s fast and responsive. I plan to move LitMUSE and HumX to WordPress, too.

This Drupal issue aside, I had much luck porting all of my old Movable Type stuff to WordPress. It was almost too easy. It should be here soon, along with comments.

Now, I have to move those comments to Disqus. This will probably be pretty painless. However, I’m as optimistic about moving them from my Drupal install. We’ll see soon.